Nutrition 101

Get back to basics!

With all of the fancy advertisements for every diet on the market claiming to be the best, how is the general population supposed to know what the best one is?

I mean, social media is screwing us in that regard too. You’ve got the hot weight lifting chick who counts her macros and brags about eating 3 bowls of Fruity Pebbles in the morning. Then, there’s the body building bro posting his 8-pack-ab gym selfie preaching that carbs are the devil and that 300g of protein each day is the only way to get jacked. Let me tell ya, that dude has the shits on a daily basis and probably the worst smelling farts.

Let’s see what else…

We have the Keto advocates, the religious Whole 30-ers, the intermittent fasting gurus, and the vegan nazis screaming in our faces about how animal products are killing us 🙄 Ugh… drag, dude.

All of these restrictive diets work for fat loss and muscle gain. I’m not saying they don’t. BUT THEY ARE NOT SUSTAINABLE LONG TERM!

Don’t you want something that you can follow consistently? You know that cheesy phrase “it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle”? I’m not a fan of overly used fitness quotes from Pinterest but this one is spot on. You have to find a way of eating that works well for YOU. If you want to be able to go out with your friends on the weekends and have a beer or cocktail, Keto and Whole 30 are out. With those diets, you veer from them one time and bam!… you gotta start all over to detox again.

Counting your macros? GREAT!!!

I am not against tracking your macros. But if you’re chowing down on donuts and shitty sugary cereals because they fit your daily macros, you are not doing your body any favors. Fat loss will happen, so you get a win there, but eating low nutrient processed food leads to malnutrition and inflammation… which leads to bad bad things.

So, the question is, how are we supposed to eat?

It is simple! Stop over-complicating something so primal!!!!


We need 3 macronutrients that are essential for our optimal health: carbs, proteins, and fats. Each macronutrient plays a vital role in our overall wellness and you need them all in your daily diet. They should be in the form of real whole foods; i.e. meats, veggies, nuts, and quality dairy products.

Listen to your body! That bitch smart

If you’re counting your macros, you might be fighting to hit that protein or carb count for your daily intake. But dude.. you’ve got to listen to your body. If you’re full, stop eating. Your body is telling you to fuckin stop but you’re still trying to wolf down a chicken breast to hit your grams?!?! It’s not worth it, man.

Fat loss will come, muscle gain will come, and you don’t have to force feed yourself in order to do it.

If you’re doing the intermittent fasting thing, don’t take it too far. Your body needs nutrients and fuel. If you are feeling weak and woozy, that’s your body’s way of saying “okay, bro, stop dickin around. we need food.”

Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full. You had the right idea as a kid. We are biologically designed to eat for survival but as we grow up, we lose that primal instinct to only eat when and what we need to.

Eat real food

You know what I mean.

I get it, the healthy shit is the stuff you have to cut, cook, and store. It’s way more difficult than the microwavable vegan burrito you found in the freezer section. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth it to take the extra time to do something that will make your body feel good.

Also, it takes like 10 minutes to chop veggies for the week and we both know that’s how much time you spend scrolling through Netflix trying to decide on a movie. No excuses. None! Not even the kid excuse. If little Johnny is throwing a tantrum preventing you from meal prepping, put that bitch in a corner and go finish business in the kitchen.

(I’m sorry I called little Johnny a bitch. In my defense, most of my friends are moms to screaming tiny humans and they all think I’m funny; so blame them for enabling my poor humor)

Sound simple enough???